Self-Cartography

Yesterday, I went to therapy with a mission. I wanted to put down, in two columns, what I did for employment while I was doing other stuff for general fun. I wanted to see if I could make any sense of all that life exploration. Chart the territory like a cartographer. I needed to draw up the map, make it real, get a sense of north, south, east, west; see concretely just how big or small, how wooded or clear-cut, the Career-Professional Territory of Me happens to be.

I declaired the first 7 years of my work life, from age 15 to 22, to be A Mess. No job that could be called a "career" and some ricky-ticky-tacky vocational schooling to be a dental assistant (never finishted it).

But, once I hit 25, and I started working at a post-doctoral theological insititute, everything in my professional life seemed to change.

While I was there, I not only learned non-profit finance, interior decorating, event planning and administration, but also copyediting. I worked for approximately 6 years with one of the fellows-in-residence on his 3-volume compliation of the unpublished poetry of Charles Wesley. Charles is a minor figure in the History of Religion, brother of John Wesley (the founder of Methodism), but he wrote "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing!" and a few other ditties you'd know if you grew up Methodist.

Believe it or not, with no college education, I was copyediting 18th century poetry as well as preparing the manuscript to be submitted to the publisher in electronic format.

How did I get there? I have no clue. I just showed up for work one day and this gorgeous man came in and said he couldn't figure some things out with his word processor...and it just snowballed from there. It was the first time I'd ever had someone read 18th century poetry to me, and the first time I'd ever heard of Charles Wesley, and I by the time it was over, I certainly learned a lot about both!

I also copyedited a manuscript titled "The Ordination of Women: to Nurture Tradition by Continuing Inculturation" by Kari E. Borreson. She is considered to be the first feminist theologian. you can google her and see for yourself.

How did that happen? Just showed up for work one day and she needed some help with wordprocessing and proofing. Who knew it was copyediting???

There have been so many times that I've done things that were part of a job...but were far more than "administrative" work.

When I was ill, and attending college, I helped ressurrect a deceased literary magazine. Wrote two publishible poems and a short story. And tutored algebra.

Then there was the internship that resulted in a comparison paper on the preservation, interpretation and restoration of historic houses in the Berkshires. The site administrator who I did the work for wasn't happy when I told her that our docents were falsely interpreting the history of the site we worked at, and denied me any recognition for 5 months of work. I wasn't too happy about it, but at least I did it.

Oh, and I had that full-year thesis thing at Smith. On Jesus in American Film. Interdiciplinary. Highest Honors in the department.

After grauation, being totally bored and lacking a basic sense of who I was, I sunk into the s/m subculture and studied that...like an anthropologist who goes native...in order to understand the rites and rituals of the tribe. If I could write up all I learned about that world without blowing alot of people out of the water, and screwing up alot of the orthodoxy about s/m, I would. But I don't feel like getting some of the Big Names in the field on my butt about it. After all, my "work" wasn't done with any sort of rigorous scientific method, and I have no psychology or sociology background to support my findings.

I was just some chick who showed up, asked questions, amused alot of people, and learned how to throw a flogger.

Now, I've infiltrated the blogosphere. I'm being the cultural anthropoligist again, and bumping my way around. I've got one article about it under my belt, another on the way, and I got dinged by the A.P. to help with their We Media conference in October.

Imagine me...at the A.P. rubbing elbows with Al Gore...probably while serving canapes or pigs-in-a-blanket, but, hey, it's rubbing elbows anwyay...

So, when my therapist and I looked at all I drew up, some things became clear. I have enough experience for something like a small c.v.; most of my experience had something to do with theology and spiritual questing; and I always seem to create projects and opportunities for myself without anyone prompting me.

The goofiest part of it though was the theology stuff. Theology, we all know, isn't cool. When you tell people you're a theologian (or, more colloquially, that you "studied religion") you get alot of heavy-sighed "oh..." responses and people turning away. It's like you're expected to stand up and start preaching.

And it's so inconsistent with the whole kinky sex thing.

I think, though, the most comforting thing about this whole exercise is that I confirmed for myself something my friend Little G said to me when I mentioned the whole Princeton/Smith thing: "geeze! you've got an Ivy League pedigree, kid!"

I never realized that part about me until I drew it out on paper. Literally. Then I could see she is darned right! Very clearly, I see where I've done theology for well over 15 years of my adult life--kind of the way some other people do marketing, or sales, or education or tech. It is as integral a part of me and, somehow, is tied into my most successful writing projects. Strangely.

It doesn't quite make sense though....then again, maybe all I need to do is rotate the map a bit...