Green Tea & Anxiety

Anxiety is a wet-blanket emotional state. It falls on me hard and heavy. Makes me breathe hard. Puts me in a dark place with no light switch; a prison box I can't see out of. Makes my hands cold. Makes my brain a cornered mouse that screams "gottagetout-gottagetout-gottagetout."

Most of the time I can't get out--either physically, emotionally, or metaphorically.

Anxiety collapses on me from outside sources. Situations or events that have a gum-in-your-hair effect with no clear-cut immediate solution can trigger it. Bad music can trigger it. General instances of an inability to make correct life-choices can certainly trigger it. A missed or lacking phone call, a neglected email, and forgetting to take something out of the freezer for dinner can trigger it-- and can increase it if one or two of the above are included.

Anxiety haunts me--like the smell of overcooked broccoli, or an unclean bathroom, or something of dubious identity decaying on the forest floor.

Anxiety makes me scream. It isn't the only thing that makes me scream, but it is the only thing that makes me scream In a Bad Way.

Recently, I had such an anxiety attack on my way to work that I rear-ended somebody. The thought of standing, yet again, for six hours, listening to the worst quasi-hip-hop, near breakbeat techno crapola that the Muzak Corp could put on one CD, on top of having to deal with the General Public and its current lack of common civility, my sorry financial state, and possible poor word choice on a critical email, caused me to freak--to breathe heavy and grab for my purse, fish around for a mirror to make sure that the new lipstick I bought really was eight-hour....And bamola!

So, I ended up not only struggling thru my anxiety, but also dealing with the local constabulary and a victim. Fortunately, she wasn't hysterical--just shaken, and the cops were really nice.

Yet I resist the idea of treating my anxiety with medication. I've done medications before, for depression, and their effects were questionable. The only effects I could count on were a lack of sex drive, a loss of interest in the excitement of life, and bone-crushing insomnia.

Therefore, in my world, I figure that it would be easier to find a natural way to control my anxiety than to resort to medications. As a result of the anti-depressants, it took me a number of years to get any semblance of a sex drive back and I'm not about to throw it away just because I want to stop the stinky anxiety monster from sitting on my chest.

I started drinking green tea to control my sugar cravings and general sugar consumption. For me, it also has a wonderful mellowing effect. And they sell it at the coffeehaus across from my store at the mall. Like others with their morning coffee, I get my morning green tea. It steeps for about 5 minutes, gets nice and strong, and then becomes my drug of choice.

So far, it works pretty darned good. It's like a comfy old sweater or a set of flannel sheets on a cold night--keeps me in a mental comfy zone and doesn't interfere with life functions I hold very dear. Oftentimes nothing really changes--my decision making processes don't get sharper, bad situations don't immediately remedy themselves, I don't get the email I was expecting, and I still end up eating take-out alot. I don't mind if life in general doesn't change--just as long as I'm not chemically spayed in the meantime.