"I Like to Watch"
In the movie Being There, Peter Sellers played Chance the Gardner, a simple man who took great pleasure in tending gardens and watching tv. When asked what he did, or what he liked, Chance always answered "I like to watch."
He meant tv. Most people thought he meant something else.
Sometimes I like to watch, too. Sitting outside a cafe, watching the world around me, observing how people interact with one another, listening to snippets of conversation, and wondering what all those people's lives are about.
Which, quite frankly, is very different from what Chance meant by "I like to watch."
There are two kinds of watching--active watching and passive watching. Active watching thinks about what's going on. Active watching is observation. It is sometimes a precursor to full, engaged action.
On the other hand, passive watching is simply being there, in a particular moment, perhaps taking joy in what other people are doing (living vicariously) with no desire to act any further.
So when I was typing out my morning post for Corante, and listening to Martha Stewart blabber on about how she went to Opening Day at Yankee Stadium with her banker-friend, and what a wonderful time she had, all I could think was, "oh, who cares about this rich broad blabbering on about her adventures? what difference does it make to me?"
Well, to me it makes no difference. Rather than hear about someone else's (esp. a celebrity's)Grand Day Out, I like to observe life, figure out what's possible, and then do interesting things.
However, there are a lot of people who simply like to watch and listen. More people, I think sometimes, than those who like to do things.
For me, it's always been about the experience of life and of not being passive. If something so excites my curiosty, I want to go there, be a part of whatever it is that's either pushing me or pulling me toward it. That's how I ended up being a consummate clubgoer, a tarot card reader, a transpersonal healer, an honors student, a dominatrix, and a blogger. That desire for experience has made me very rich in life experience. I can talk with authority about a number of fascinating lifestyles and subcultures, and still have the uncanny ability to slip in and out of places that most people dare not go.
So I don't quite understand people who simply like to sit, watch, and listen to the exploits of others without ever wanting to venture out of their own cubbyhole. I undestand that sometimes people are limited in their abilities to do things, but, then again, I'm of the mind that even people who have limitations, if they have a curiosity, they will find a way to explore it.
And I understand that sometimes money is a limitation--still, there are lots of things to explore where money isn't necessarily an object.
Please note that I am not suggesting that people explore things that might damage their lives in some way. Before doing oddball or fringe activities (and I have done my share) all the consequences should be weighed. If the consequences are greater than the action, then the action should not be engaged. It's simple.
Still, I guess there's a part of me that will never understand the passive observer--the person who's content to simply listen to the stories of celebrities or other nefarious types, and to marvel at their lavish (or foolish) existences. Why? What's the point? Why make heroes of Oprah or Martha or Donald some guy who drives a race car or plays ball? I would think that, after awhile, one might just get a resentment or grow numb or (even more far-out) begin to believe that their lives are the celebrities lives. Now, I know the latter is somewhat delusional, but, as I confessed, I simply do not understand why, or what, would want to make someone simply observe the lavish lives of others and never explore their own curiousities.
Maybe it's just that I kind of like life---and maybe, for some people, they don't really like life. Maybe, ultimately, it's easier to like someone else's life, and live vicariously through it, than take some responsiblity to change our lives into lives we might like.
That, too, I don't understand. I'm a woman of action, and I change my life when it gets unbearable. It's not easy, but to me, it's better than living through someone else's life.
And, ultimatley, not just living a lie--but not living at all.
He meant tv. Most people thought he meant something else.
Sometimes I like to watch, too. Sitting outside a cafe, watching the world around me, observing how people interact with one another, listening to snippets of conversation, and wondering what all those people's lives are about.
Which, quite frankly, is very different from what Chance meant by "I like to watch."
There are two kinds of watching--active watching and passive watching. Active watching thinks about what's going on. Active watching is observation. It is sometimes a precursor to full, engaged action.
On the other hand, passive watching is simply being there, in a particular moment, perhaps taking joy in what other people are doing (living vicariously) with no desire to act any further.
So when I was typing out my morning post for Corante, and listening to Martha Stewart blabber on about how she went to Opening Day at Yankee Stadium with her banker-friend, and what a wonderful time she had, all I could think was, "oh, who cares about this rich broad blabbering on about her adventures? what difference does it make to me?"
Well, to me it makes no difference. Rather than hear about someone else's (esp. a celebrity's)Grand Day Out, I like to observe life, figure out what's possible, and then do interesting things.
However, there are a lot of people who simply like to watch and listen. More people, I think sometimes, than those who like to do things.
For me, it's always been about the experience of life and of not being passive. If something so excites my curiosty, I want to go there, be a part of whatever it is that's either pushing me or pulling me toward it. That's how I ended up being a consummate clubgoer, a tarot card reader, a transpersonal healer, an honors student, a dominatrix, and a blogger. That desire for experience has made me very rich in life experience. I can talk with authority about a number of fascinating lifestyles and subcultures, and still have the uncanny ability to slip in and out of places that most people dare not go.
So I don't quite understand people who simply like to sit, watch, and listen to the exploits of others without ever wanting to venture out of their own cubbyhole. I undestand that sometimes people are limited in their abilities to do things, but, then again, I'm of the mind that even people who have limitations, if they have a curiosity, they will find a way to explore it.
And I understand that sometimes money is a limitation--still, there are lots of things to explore where money isn't necessarily an object.
Please note that I am not suggesting that people explore things that might damage their lives in some way. Before doing oddball or fringe activities (and I have done my share) all the consequences should be weighed. If the consequences are greater than the action, then the action should not be engaged. It's simple.
Still, I guess there's a part of me that will never understand the passive observer--the person who's content to simply listen to the stories of celebrities or other nefarious types, and to marvel at their lavish (or foolish) existences. Why? What's the point? Why make heroes of Oprah or Martha or Donald some guy who drives a race car or plays ball? I would think that, after awhile, one might just get a resentment or grow numb or (even more far-out) begin to believe that their lives are the celebrities lives. Now, I know the latter is somewhat delusional, but, as I confessed, I simply do not understand why, or what, would want to make someone simply observe the lavish lives of others and never explore their own curiousities.
Maybe it's just that I kind of like life---and maybe, for some people, they don't really like life. Maybe, ultimately, it's easier to like someone else's life, and live vicariously through it, than take some responsiblity to change our lives into lives we might like.
That, too, I don't understand. I'm a woman of action, and I change my life when it gets unbearable. It's not easy, but to me, it's better than living through someone else's life.
And, ultimatley, not just living a lie--but not living at all.
posted by Tish Grier at 10:39 PM
3 Comments:
I have to say, sometimes I am an active listener and sometimes I am a passive listener, and I thought I'd share my reasons for passive listening. I like to know how the world will react to certain actions (my own or others') I guess it's sort of an extention of my desire to control everything, but I find the more I just sit and listen the better sense I get of how the world, or my environment, or my community will react to events. This gives me a sort of sense of comfort because I feel more confident that I won't say something that will offend people, or I will be aware of the obstacles that face me if events turn in a certain direction.... I could be the only one in the world with this reason for passive listening, but there it is :)
I think you hit it right on with the idea that it's easier to peer in at some grand life than change your own. Why else would reality shows be so popular? How people can be satisfied with that is beyond me, but then, I can barely work the cable remote, so what do I know about it?
M...you present good reasons for being a passive listener and I def. agreee.
I was thinking, though, more along the lines of what Kira mentions--and the whole celebrity thing. Why are we so content to sit and listen to celebrities rather than have our own lives? And why, so often, is celebrity-talk such a big part of some people's conversations?
not mine though, I'm neurotic enough as it is. there's always some *issue* to discuss, and no time for celebrites when you're neurotic ;-)
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