A Holiday Without Cards
It's December 20th...and time's running short on sending Christmas cards.
Guess I won't be doing it this year.
No big whoop though. So far, I've only received two--one from Gee and one from K. K's had a lovely pic of The Family enclosed, and a letter. Lots of wonderful milestones!
I've done alot this year, but I don't think anyone cares.
I don't think anyone really cares that I was in the Boston Globe. or contributed to Huffington Post. Or linked on Daily Kos. Or Instalanched (and survived.)
Or that I spoke at two conferences.
When I'd never done any of this before, and was hardly adequately prepared for any of it, but I did it.
I'm just not sure any of this has any meaning in the long-term, long-range scheme of life.
Another friend wrote me about the death of Leslie Harpold. It was sad--but when I read her stuff, it reminded me that I'm not alone when it comes to having a singularly strange life (and being somewhat at odds with it.)
I'm looking across the living room at my tree, and my Christmas Queen doll (another one I crocheted) and not thinking "how did I get here?" but "where do I go from here?"
Very different questions and vastly different concepts.
I'll post a pic of the tree later....
And I realize that I haven't really had the "spirit" this season to write out cards. I'm very inward right now--I could say depressed, but then I'd hear some of y'all saying "yeah, and when *aren't* you depressed??"
yeah, har-har ;-p
I barely had the "spirit" to put up the tree--but, you know, I had to put up the tree. Went through all the effort to buy it last year, so I had to put it up this year.
The year I *don't* write cards and *don't* put up the tree is the year y'all should worry about my state of mind. As long as one or the other is going on, I'm fine.
Relatively speaking.
There's still shopping to be done, and the requisite wrapping. That will get done, too..probably tomorrow.
Next week will be the wind-down of this year springboarding into the next. That dreadded "in between week" where everybody's kind of hung over from one holiday and preparing to be hung over from the next. It's like the proverbial holding pattern before all those promises of being "in touch next year" either come to fruition or die on the vine.
We'll see...
So, I sit here looking at the unopened box of Christmas cards I bought during Sale Days last year, hoping I'd send them this year, and realizing that there's not a whole lot of time, and thinking about how the muscle I pulled in my chest recently really, really hurts and I don't think I'll get to the cards this year.
Maybe next year. Maybe then the things I do will have a meaning that people will understand.
Guess I won't be doing it this year.
No big whoop though. So far, I've only received two--one from Gee and one from K. K's had a lovely pic of The Family enclosed, and a letter. Lots of wonderful milestones!
I've done alot this year, but I don't think anyone cares.
I don't think anyone really cares that I was in the Boston Globe. or contributed to Huffington Post. Or linked on Daily Kos. Or Instalanched (and survived.)
Or that I spoke at two conferences.
When I'd never done any of this before, and was hardly adequately prepared for any of it, but I did it.
I'm just not sure any of this has any meaning in the long-term, long-range scheme of life.
Another friend wrote me about the death of Leslie Harpold. It was sad--but when I read her stuff, it reminded me that I'm not alone when it comes to having a singularly strange life (and being somewhat at odds with it.)
I'm looking across the living room at my tree, and my Christmas Queen doll (another one I crocheted) and not thinking "how did I get here?" but "where do I go from here?"
Very different questions and vastly different concepts.
I'll post a pic of the tree later....
And I realize that I haven't really had the "spirit" this season to write out cards. I'm very inward right now--I could say depressed, but then I'd hear some of y'all saying "yeah, and when *aren't* you depressed??"
yeah, har-har ;-p
I barely had the "spirit" to put up the tree--but, you know, I had to put up the tree. Went through all the effort to buy it last year, so I had to put it up this year.
The year I *don't* write cards and *don't* put up the tree is the year y'all should worry about my state of mind. As long as one or the other is going on, I'm fine.
Relatively speaking.
There's still shopping to be done, and the requisite wrapping. That will get done, too..probably tomorrow.
Next week will be the wind-down of this year springboarding into the next. That dreadded "in between week" where everybody's kind of hung over from one holiday and preparing to be hung over from the next. It's like the proverbial holding pattern before all those promises of being "in touch next year" either come to fruition or die on the vine.
We'll see...
So, I sit here looking at the unopened box of Christmas cards I bought during Sale Days last year, hoping I'd send them this year, and realizing that there's not a whole lot of time, and thinking about how the muscle I pulled in my chest recently really, really hurts and I don't think I'll get to the cards this year.
Maybe next year. Maybe then the things I do will have a meaning that people will understand.
posted by Tish Grier at 3:35 PM
3 Comments:
I would like to send a Merry Holiday thought time for you. I appreciate your writings.Your clarity with thought and honesty. It is very refreshing. I came upon your blog here by accident, looking up 'dreams' on google. (oh!! you have spell check on this, so cool).I have never seen blogs before.
I have not sent Christmas cards in 2 years now. The first year I kind of felt bad, analyzing why if I was lazy? depressed? bored? or not caring? ... This year, I prefer to just write, of what things mean or do not mean or the wonders of meanings. Probably does not have anything to do with the holidays, but I do feel more people open this time of year for talk, of things 'inside'...
well, Merry Christmas to you, looking forward to seeing your tree.
cindy
Hi cindy--and thanks for leaving a comment :-)
Lots of people, I think, get introspective at this time of year--and the beauty comes from being able to choose (or not) to share our toughts with others. If we feel compelled by something outside of ourselves to send out greetings, then the greetings are hollow gestures. Best not saying anything than being insincere. and maybe that's why some of us just don't send cards on one year or another...
Dear Sweetie,
Don't feel bad. I got only one card from one friend this year too. It seems everyone's too tapped out with their own lives. It's OK. There have ben years when I couldnt' deal with crads, could barely keep my head up. Maybe everyone is just barely making it this year.
Keep your head up though.
I am thinking about you!
love,
me
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