One Hell of an Interview

I am still greatly obsessed with the terrible, awful interview I had on thrusday.

I am spending a great deal of time trying to figure out the human resources dude's motivation for asking me questions such as why did I major in Religion; was I thinking of becoming a Minister, what did I do on vacations as a child, how do I support myself on a part-time job income, if I still have family in New Jersey and if I visit them often, and do I spend weekends in New York.

None of these questions have anything to do with the job I applied for. None of them necessarily tell anything about my character. And, according to the Massachusetts Commission Against Discrimination, none of them are illegal, even if they are wildly inappropriate and possibly could lead to gender discrimination.

I asked friends and the woman I spoke with at the MCAD what they thought the H.R. dude might have been fishing for. I got a number of very interesting ideas about this fishing expedition:

--He wanted to know if I am Jewish
--He was trying to find out if I am rich
--He found me so fascinating and it was his ham-handed way of making small-talk
--He wanted to see if I am a chatterbox and would spill it to anyone who asked
--He wanted to know if I am married and have kids
--He wanted to know if I would drop everything and head back to Jersey at the first scream from my parents (highly unlikely)
--He wanted to know if I was sentimental about New York, New Jersey and where my friends are
--He wanted to find out if I was going to go to grad school and follow my "calling"

But overall, none of this is *any* of his business. He's a potential employer, not the FBI...and even they don't have a right to know that kind of stuff about a private citizen. Why I live here, what I do in my spare time, whether or not I was a bookworm as a kid because my family was wildly dysfunctional, and that I didn't want to go back to New Jersey because I didn't want to end up running into my crazy ex-husband and have to deal with my bitch of a sister reminding me that I'm twice-divorced....well, that's really my personal business and none of that has anything to do with how well I can do this particular job.

Unless excessive anger at a jerko who asks me about my family is grounds to get fired....

But I encountered these sorts of questions before. I am tired of being bullied by potential employers.

So I have a quandry: how to handle this situation. I called the H.R. dude's assistant, who I had the initial interview with, and left her a message that I wanted another meeting with him because I had some further questions about the position that I did not get to ask--namely why they keep going thru secretaries on what appears to be a seasonal basis. I know a call like this could be taken several ways:

--that I have amazing chutzpah
--that I'm paranoid
--that I'm a real go-getter
--that I'm so absent-minded that I couldn't think of questions when I was there....

All of this could go either way. I could be seen as the savior of the office, the secretary in shining armor. Or I could be seen as a complete eccentric little rich girl, hiding her Jewish background, who isn't all that quick on the draw as they would like...who knows? Playing up the rich part might not be a bad idea...but I don't think I could pull off the Jewish part all that well.

Although, the thing that I really want to know is this dude's motivation for asking me questions that, while not illegal, were certainly patently inappropriate.

If he was fishing for a date...well, he should know that being direct and tactless, and having an office that looks like a bomb hit it, is not the way to endear yourself to a woman.