The Loser Factor
I used to like nightclubbing. I liked it so much that when I got divorced, I found my way back to nightclubbing for a bit. That is, until I realized I was getting too old for nightclubbing...
It wasn't that I didn't like the music. Not at all. Suprisingly, the clubs I went to were playing stuff I'd listened to before I stopped nightclubbing. It was more about getting very tired of observing the same kinds of behavior I witnessed 20 years ago during the height of my clubbing days....
And the fact that, even though I was well disguised and well-dressed, I felt like I was too old to be there.
Bottom line: I felt like a loser.
There are times, though, when I'd like to go out to a club and listen to some music--just kick back with a drink and listen to a band. But around here, the average age of someone in a club is at least 15 to 20 years younger than myself.
Which makes me feel like a big loser.
I'd prefer if there were places to go where there were other adults listening to music and not trying so hard to get drunk or to put the make on some little skinny broad with her thong showing. It's just not fun to be in an atmosphere where people are looking at you like you don't belong there, and that they'd like you to politely leave.
Last time I saw my nutritionist, we got to talking about clubbing because I mentioned that I was very tiny years ago when I went clubbing/dancing 4 nights a week. She's from Miami, and she and her husband, who used to enjoy going out to clubs when they lived in Miami, noticed the same thing about clubs around here that I noticed--a derth of adults. "Where are all the grownups?" we asked each other.
"I don't know" we both answered.
So, there are a lot of friday and saturday nights when I'd love to get out and get a bit dressed up, and go hang out at a club. But, why bother? If I feel like the oldest person in the room, I can't imagine how Steady Eddie (who's 10 yrs older than me) might feel--then again, it's a bit different for guys. He's in fairly good shape for a man his age, and it wouldn't be out of the question for him to hit on a much younger woman.
The much younger guys I would attract, however, would probably be looking for a sugar-momma. And me, being an artistic type, don't have any sugar to spare.
Either that or they'd have something else wrong with them--jail record, mental illness, mother issues...
oh, no thanks.
There are two alternatives: karaoke bars and biker bars. Neither of us sings, and I don't see Steady Eddie feigning a biker pose...
So, I'm not totally thrilled with being relegated to movies and a drink or two at a "friendly" bar on a friday or saturday. Frankly, I'd rather be out and about, dressing up, dancing, listening to a great band. I don't like that there aren't all that many places for people over the age of 35 to go on a weekend night, other than biker bars and karaoke bars. It's as if we're all supposed to be home waiting for our teenagers to come home from *their* nights out.
I guess, maybe, I'm still not totally adjusted to adulthood out here in the country, where the night life has its limitations just as much as I have mine.
It wasn't that I didn't like the music. Not at all. Suprisingly, the clubs I went to were playing stuff I'd listened to before I stopped nightclubbing. It was more about getting very tired of observing the same kinds of behavior I witnessed 20 years ago during the height of my clubbing days....
And the fact that, even though I was well disguised and well-dressed, I felt like I was too old to be there.
Bottom line: I felt like a loser.
There are times, though, when I'd like to go out to a club and listen to some music--just kick back with a drink and listen to a band. But around here, the average age of someone in a club is at least 15 to 20 years younger than myself.
Which makes me feel like a big loser.
I'd prefer if there were places to go where there were other adults listening to music and not trying so hard to get drunk or to put the make on some little skinny broad with her thong showing. It's just not fun to be in an atmosphere where people are looking at you like you don't belong there, and that they'd like you to politely leave.
Last time I saw my nutritionist, we got to talking about clubbing because I mentioned that I was very tiny years ago when I went clubbing/dancing 4 nights a week. She's from Miami, and she and her husband, who used to enjoy going out to clubs when they lived in Miami, noticed the same thing about clubs around here that I noticed--a derth of adults. "Where are all the grownups?" we asked each other.
"I don't know" we both answered.
So, there are a lot of friday and saturday nights when I'd love to get out and get a bit dressed up, and go hang out at a club. But, why bother? If I feel like the oldest person in the room, I can't imagine how Steady Eddie (who's 10 yrs older than me) might feel--then again, it's a bit different for guys. He's in fairly good shape for a man his age, and it wouldn't be out of the question for him to hit on a much younger woman.
The much younger guys I would attract, however, would probably be looking for a sugar-momma. And me, being an artistic type, don't have any sugar to spare.
Either that or they'd have something else wrong with them--jail record, mental illness, mother issues...
oh, no thanks.
There are two alternatives: karaoke bars and biker bars. Neither of us sings, and I don't see Steady Eddie feigning a biker pose...
So, I'm not totally thrilled with being relegated to movies and a drink or two at a "friendly" bar on a friday or saturday. Frankly, I'd rather be out and about, dressing up, dancing, listening to a great band. I don't like that there aren't all that many places for people over the age of 35 to go on a weekend night, other than biker bars and karaoke bars. It's as if we're all supposed to be home waiting for our teenagers to come home from *their* nights out.
I guess, maybe, I'm still not totally adjusted to adulthood out here in the country, where the night life has its limitations just as much as I have mine.
posted by Tish Grier at 4:54 PM
2 Comments:
Wow Tish...
I can SO relate to this. I mean WTF? Is there no decent places anywhere to go have some drinks be sophisticated and listen to 'new'-ish music and feel welcome? I mean there's the whole 'martini bar' scene but those people make me kind of want to puke....
Ya know there's a market for this...
"You've got the looks, I've got the brains, let's make lots of money" *grin* not to quote the Pet Shop Boys or anything but it's true...there is certainly a niche for this in many big cities, I wonder why no one has tried to put something together for people like us? It's sad when you think about it...
Colette...
I know what you mean about the "martini bar" thing. So far, what I see of it around here is that it's pretty much the 30-somethings who are part of that scene. That's fine, but it's not *quite* what I'm looking for either.
I think, though, a lot of what's available here has to do with the geography. Out here, middle aged folks are all about family. That's the geography. It might be different if I were in a Big City like Boston, rather than near a relatively small city like Springfield (there aren't even any movie theaters in Springfield, and virtually no shopping district).
Then again, I think it might just be a function of middle age--that most middle-aged folks don't want to go out. They've got big jobs that consume most of their time and they want to rest up at home when they're not working.
However, if all the middle-aged, paunchy, hog-riding motorcyclist are any indication, then they probably are at the biker bars. ugh.
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