The Return of the RetroSexual (as if he ever left)
So, as I'm doing my usual morning mulit-tasking--reading my RSS feeds, got the TV on, and following up on various little hoo-ha on the 'net--the Today Show had a "report" on the retrosexual phenomenon....
Wordspy has the perfect quote about retrosexuals :
A retrosexual is somewhat different from a metrosexual. It's all in the suit-rumple. Some time ago, I figured out that by 5pm one can easily figure out the straight guy (or retrosexual) from the metrosexual (or man of questionable sexuality). The two can start out with the similar level of grooming--but by the end of the day, the retrosexual will have 5 o'clock shadow (won't matter if he's blond or dark-haired) and will be either rumpled or have a spot somewhere on his suit/shirt/tie. He will also smell a tad "manly"--not necessarily offensively so, but "manly" nontheless.
The Metrosexual (or man of questionable sexuality) will look not only perfect, but smell perfect too. It's like he's got a butler following him around, or a Fairy Godfather.
This is not to say that a Retrosexual guy doesn't smell good. As a matter of fact, to the right woman, the right retrosexual will smell real good. That's part of the mating thing--the thing that makes us wear guy's shirts or put our faces on their pillows. It's not their cologne that we're attracted to--it's the pheromones that make them them our own boyfriends/husbands/lovers.
To a degree, women like metrosexual guys--but only superficially. After awhile, they creep us out. Think about it: if a guy knows more about hair gel than you and isn't a haircutter, or knows more about skincare and isn't a dermatologist, or knows more about fashion and isn't in the fashion industry--well, after awhile, he's going to get pretty boring. We like those traits in guys we see only occasionally, or work with. If we wanted guys who were really into the stuff we're into, wouldn't we be a bit more intimate with our girlfriends? What, really, do we need with a guy who's kinda like a woman?
And, let's face it, too...how many of us women are the kinds of women fashion magazines tell us we're supposed to be? How many of us spend hundreds of dollars on our skincare? How many of us buy Manolos or Jimmy Choos--or even bother to buy knock-offs? How many of us can comfortably maintain a size 4 after the age of 35? Or care to? How many of us just wish we could find a well-fitting bra and a pair of jeans that's somewhere between low-rise and mom-cut, and makeup that doesn't make us look plastic?
So, why am I not surprised to hear that retrosexuals are enjoying a renaissance? Because they are our perfect compliments. We are not perfect, and it's awfully difficult to keep up with a guy who's perfect--when we can't even tell what gender he prefers? Personally, I don't have time to be hanging out with someone who's so fussy he can't figure out how to use a plunger when the toilet backs up, or gets more nervous than me around mice and spiders. I want a guy who's going to rush in like Clark Kent chaging into Superman and take care of all that nasty stuff for me. I want him to deal with the mouse carcasses and spider guts. I want him to repair things for me--whether it's my computer or if it's my kitchen table, I want him to fix it *for* me.
Because he's supposed to. It's his manly job. It's why we keep them around anyway. ;-)
And why Retro will always trump Metro.
Wordspy has the perfect quote about retrosexuals :
Genuine guys are sometimes known as retrosexuals, to distinguish them from metrosexuals, who are men with the good taste of gay men, only they're straight. Metrosexuals are scrupulous about their grooming and are great consumers of men's cosmetic products. They use hair gel. Retrosexuals are scared of hair gel. Some people think that retrosexuals automatically have Neanderthal views about women, but this is not the case. A retrosexual is simply someone who doesn't know the difference between teal and aqua, and frankly couldn't give a damn.
—Margaret Wente, "I married a retrosexual," The Globe and Mail (Canada), February 14, 2004
A retrosexual is somewhat different from a metrosexual. It's all in the suit-rumple. Some time ago, I figured out that by 5pm one can easily figure out the straight guy (or retrosexual) from the metrosexual (or man of questionable sexuality). The two can start out with the similar level of grooming--but by the end of the day, the retrosexual will have 5 o'clock shadow (won't matter if he's blond or dark-haired) and will be either rumpled or have a spot somewhere on his suit/shirt/tie. He will also smell a tad "manly"--not necessarily offensively so, but "manly" nontheless.
The Metrosexual (or man of questionable sexuality) will look not only perfect, but smell perfect too. It's like he's got a butler following him around, or a Fairy Godfather.
This is not to say that a Retrosexual guy doesn't smell good. As a matter of fact, to the right woman, the right retrosexual will smell real good. That's part of the mating thing--the thing that makes us wear guy's shirts or put our faces on their pillows. It's not their cologne that we're attracted to--it's the pheromones that make them them our own boyfriends/husbands/lovers.
To a degree, women like metrosexual guys--but only superficially. After awhile, they creep us out. Think about it: if a guy knows more about hair gel than you and isn't a haircutter, or knows more about skincare and isn't a dermatologist, or knows more about fashion and isn't in the fashion industry--well, after awhile, he's going to get pretty boring. We like those traits in guys we see only occasionally, or work with. If we wanted guys who were really into the stuff we're into, wouldn't we be a bit more intimate with our girlfriends? What, really, do we need with a guy who's kinda like a woman?
And, let's face it, too...how many of us women are the kinds of women fashion magazines tell us we're supposed to be? How many of us spend hundreds of dollars on our skincare? How many of us buy Manolos or Jimmy Choos--or even bother to buy knock-offs? How many of us can comfortably maintain a size 4 after the age of 35? Or care to? How many of us just wish we could find a well-fitting bra and a pair of jeans that's somewhere between low-rise and mom-cut, and makeup that doesn't make us look plastic?
So, why am I not surprised to hear that retrosexuals are enjoying a renaissance? Because they are our perfect compliments. We are not perfect, and it's awfully difficult to keep up with a guy who's perfect--when we can't even tell what gender he prefers? Personally, I don't have time to be hanging out with someone who's so fussy he can't figure out how to use a plunger when the toilet backs up, or gets more nervous than me around mice and spiders. I want a guy who's going to rush in like Clark Kent chaging into Superman and take care of all that nasty stuff for me. I want him to deal with the mouse carcasses and spider guts. I want him to repair things for me--whether it's my computer or if it's my kitchen table, I want him to fix it *for* me.
Because he's supposed to. It's his manly job. It's why we keep them around anyway. ;-)
And why Retro will always trump Metro.
posted by Tish Grier at 9:15 AM
4 Comments:
Amen to that, Tish! My husband falls squarely in the retrosexual category--spot on the shirt, hair never perfectly trimmed (though he has a full head of it, which is nice), changes the tires, removes the spiders, backs the trailer, and never met a haircare "product" he'd want to use.
On the other hand, he's a total feminist, lobbies hard for equal marriage rights, cooks like a dream, and is the best father to our son that I could imagine.
So he doesn't look like he stepped off the cover of GQ? Thank goodness, because I sure don't look like I stepped off the cover of Vogue. :-)
It's so interesting to know what people like and don't like. C HATES shopping, also doesn't fix things, but he does kill spiders for me. He dresses nicely and likes to look good (slightly Metrosexual in that way), although I kill box elder bugs because he doesn't hate them as vehimently as I do.
Sometimes I think "I wish he liked shopping more", but then I realize that if he liked shopping, we'd probably spend WAY too much money on clothes.
Good points though. I have some VERY metrosexual friends, but I wouldn't ever want to date them. They're WAY too high maintainence. No running through sprinklers or hiking and getting dirty and sweaty.
Back in the day, "they" used to have a saying that went "He must have cold lips from kissing too many mirrors." That's always been what I've thought of metrosexuals. If I have to fight a guy for facetime at the mirror, there's a problem.
What's the funniest is watching a guy get progressively rumpled. I've seen Lucky Bastard go from GQ perfect to One Giant Wrinkle with serious 5 o'clock shadow (never thought blond guys got it before I met him). Steady Eddie can pull off the collared polo shirt and jeans quite nicely--even the Hawaiian shirt thing (few guys have the physique for them). But put him in a suit and it's rumpled before he leaves the house. Have no idea how that happens, but it's fairly amusing :-)
ah, that's one thing about a real retrosexual--he does know how to put on a clean shirt, and maybe even a suit from time to time! just make sure that his tie is up to date(then again, if it's old enough, even the tie can be retro)
A slob is a slob. there's no justification for a slob other than that he doesn't care much about himself, let alone anyone else.
And yes, there's something very strange about leos and virgos. gad! they can be so darned fussy! If there's one thing I truly love, it's to drive a leo man bonkers with my authority-figure problem :-)
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