Putting My House In Order
No, I'm not talking about cleaning....
Since graduation, I've been beating the crap out of myself about finding the right job and starting to re-build all the financial stuff that came crashing down around me sometime in the middle of the '90's (and at the height of my chronic fatigue.)
I've felt very ashamed for a long time now because I haven't found the standard nine-to-five office job that I was taught was the main goal in my whole life. When I feel ashamed, I want to run and hide--I also don't open the bills and dunning notices.
That same shame, though, has made me blind to the money that's coming in from contracts rather than paychecks. Heck, my dad still harps on me about getting not A Job but Any Job that is, in his eyes, A Real Job.
And while it's not a princely sum by any standard, it's still money that needs to be managed accordingly.
More importantly, to me anyway, it's money I've earned for writing.
A couple of months back, I totalled up I'd made in six months, and it dawned on me that I'd made enough to warrant the Tax Man's attention. So, I contacted an accountant who explained how I should set up my books. She also explained that I should get a business account, and pay myself from that business account. She didn't think my earnings were small potatoes by any stretch because she knows that in the eyes of Internal Revenue, no potato is too small to escape its scrutiny.
It wasn't just fear of the IRS though.
The other day, I finally screwed up the courage and opened up the stack of medical bills I'd been ignoring for months--just to see what was going on. I hate the fact that I'm stuck going to a clinic where the doctors could care less about a middle aged white woman with a thyroid condition. In their eyes I'm judged as a slacker because I'm not like all the other middle aged white people who work full-time jobs with benefits. (I'll skip the rest of this rant for now....)
I called the billing office for one of the bills I owed, and the woman I spoke with was surprisingly understanding. We worked something out for me to pay the bills, and I also screwed up the courage to call Mass Health and find out why they hadn't made a determination about my coverage (or lack thereof.)
When I spoke to Mass Health, they noted that I said I was self-employed, and even though it hasn't been a year, they want a profit/loss statement from me before they'll make a determination. I was informed they no longer make determinations for self-employed persons contingent on the prior year's tax form--which is what most places will do, then re-evaluate when the first full year of self-employment is filed.
Needing the coverage for the medical bills, and knowing there is no way around the profit/loss statment, I understood that I had to start putting together the spreadsheets so that I could get some help from my accountant (wow, that sounds odd)on the profit/loss statement.
I sat down with Excel and my checkbook. It dawned on me that I could put the upgrade down as a business expense (why else would I be using it?)--and I went ahead and paid for it our of my business account.
I also opened all my old bank statments, dragged out all the invoices I'd set out on contracts, started to put together when and how much money had come in, and highlighted expenses that could be written off for business reasons.
Now, y'all might be wondering why I didn't do this sooner--why I didn't have all my ducks in a row before I started freelancing.
Thing is,I never expected any success. I figured I was on the most foolish of fools errands and that I'd simply spontaneously combust after a bit. All my life, even into adulthod, I had been carefully taught that my dreams were bullshit.
I will never forget the evening where I was out to dinner with some friends and was resoundingly berated for not getting paid in what they considered a timely manner. I was told by one to stop the stupidity and "get a real job."
I have since stopped being friends with that one friend--but that doesn't mean that what was said didn't hurt me.
I also didn't have any one taking my hand and showing me exactly the right way to do any of this. People have helped from a distance--have been incredibly encouraging, some even putting up with a bit of slightly hysterical divadom--and I'm most grateful for that. Yet at times it's been expected that I just kind of "know" what I'm doing with money, as much as that I "know" all the special-handshake social signals.
Believe me, everything--from the social signals and networking to the financial management--has all been new for me. I've been learning most of it from trial and much, much error.
The funny thing is, I never thought that getting perspective on my finances would help me get perspective on other parts of what I'm doing and where I'm at in a professional sense. Yet it is. I see where I've made a great deal of progress since January of this year--it might not be as of yet yielding a sum of money that will make me financially independent, but it's a start.
It is something much more than I had at the same time last year.
It is something much more than I had expected, or was taught to believe I could ever expect.
So, I can call the accountant later this week and ask her about putting together a profit/loss statement. And I can fax over the forms for deferrments on my student loans. And I don't have to feel like a slacker because the fact is, I haven't been slacking at all. I've been working really hard trying to farm a piece of seriously rocky real estate that has, in fact, yielded some rather nice, rare-breed potatoes.
Pretty darned amazing, if you ask me...
and now, back to the spreadsheets...
Since graduation, I've been beating the crap out of myself about finding the right job and starting to re-build all the financial stuff that came crashing down around me sometime in the middle of the '90's (and at the height of my chronic fatigue.)
I've felt very ashamed for a long time now because I haven't found the standard nine-to-five office job that I was taught was the main goal in my whole life. When I feel ashamed, I want to run and hide--I also don't open the bills and dunning notices.
That same shame, though, has made me blind to the money that's coming in from contracts rather than paychecks. Heck, my dad still harps on me about getting not A Job but Any Job that is, in his eyes, A Real Job.
And while it's not a princely sum by any standard, it's still money that needs to be managed accordingly.
More importantly, to me anyway, it's money I've earned for writing.
A couple of months back, I totalled up I'd made in six months, and it dawned on me that I'd made enough to warrant the Tax Man's attention. So, I contacted an accountant who explained how I should set up my books. She also explained that I should get a business account, and pay myself from that business account. She didn't think my earnings were small potatoes by any stretch because she knows that in the eyes of Internal Revenue, no potato is too small to escape its scrutiny.
It wasn't just fear of the IRS though.
The other day, I finally screwed up the courage and opened up the stack of medical bills I'd been ignoring for months--just to see what was going on. I hate the fact that I'm stuck going to a clinic where the doctors could care less about a middle aged white woman with a thyroid condition. In their eyes I'm judged as a slacker because I'm not like all the other middle aged white people who work full-time jobs with benefits. (I'll skip the rest of this rant for now....)
I called the billing office for one of the bills I owed, and the woman I spoke with was surprisingly understanding. We worked something out for me to pay the bills, and I also screwed up the courage to call Mass Health and find out why they hadn't made a determination about my coverage (or lack thereof.)
When I spoke to Mass Health, they noted that I said I was self-employed, and even though it hasn't been a year, they want a profit/loss statement from me before they'll make a determination. I was informed they no longer make determinations for self-employed persons contingent on the prior year's tax form--which is what most places will do, then re-evaluate when the first full year of self-employment is filed.
Needing the coverage for the medical bills, and knowing there is no way around the profit/loss statment, I understood that I had to start putting together the spreadsheets so that I could get some help from my accountant (wow, that sounds odd)on the profit/loss statement.
I sat down with Excel and my checkbook. It dawned on me that I could put the upgrade down as a business expense (why else would I be using it?)--and I went ahead and paid for it our of my business account.
I also opened all my old bank statments, dragged out all the invoices I'd set out on contracts, started to put together when and how much money had come in, and highlighted expenses that could be written off for business reasons.
Now, y'all might be wondering why I didn't do this sooner--why I didn't have all my ducks in a row before I started freelancing.
Thing is,I never expected any success. I figured I was on the most foolish of fools errands and that I'd simply spontaneously combust after a bit. All my life, even into adulthod, I had been carefully taught that my dreams were bullshit.
I will never forget the evening where I was out to dinner with some friends and was resoundingly berated for not getting paid in what they considered a timely manner. I was told by one to stop the stupidity and "get a real job."
I have since stopped being friends with that one friend--but that doesn't mean that what was said didn't hurt me.
I also didn't have any one taking my hand and showing me exactly the right way to do any of this. People have helped from a distance--have been incredibly encouraging, some even putting up with a bit of slightly hysterical divadom--and I'm most grateful for that. Yet at times it's been expected that I just kind of "know" what I'm doing with money, as much as that I "know" all the special-handshake social signals.
Believe me, everything--from the social signals and networking to the financial management--has all been new for me. I've been learning most of it from trial and much, much error.
The funny thing is, I never thought that getting perspective on my finances would help me get perspective on other parts of what I'm doing and where I'm at in a professional sense. Yet it is. I see where I've made a great deal of progress since January of this year--it might not be as of yet yielding a sum of money that will make me financially independent, but it's a start.
It is something much more than I had at the same time last year.
It is something much more than I had expected, or was taught to believe I could ever expect.
So, I can call the accountant later this week and ask her about putting together a profit/loss statement. And I can fax over the forms for deferrments on my student loans. And I don't have to feel like a slacker because the fact is, I haven't been slacking at all. I've been working really hard trying to farm a piece of seriously rocky real estate that has, in fact, yielded some rather nice, rare-breed potatoes.
Pretty darned amazing, if you ask me...
and now, back to the spreadsheets...
posted by Tish Grier at 3:00 PM
1 Comments:
Hello!
To make you feel better, no one is born with an intrinsic knowledge of business and financial dealings. There are those who go to school and get a biz degree, but the rest of us (myself included) learn by the seat of our pants. The truth is, running a business (yikes! you're self-employed!!) is too overwhelming for one person for to do/manage/learn by herself, and the truly smart people surround themselves by other smart people to fill in the gaps. You did the right thing by seeking help and talking to an accountant. And there are many more people that are out there willing to help. Good luck! And remember, nothing is ever as scary as we make it out to be. In a year, all of this stuff will seem like a piece of cake. Hope this helps!
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