Lucky Bastard update: yes, he came back. yes, he started bothering me again about providing experiences that he is not entitled to. yes, I called him, re-inforced the idea that he is not entitled to these things and that he violated my trust with his extracurricular activities, and recommended he not call me any more.
He is not one to be denied. So far, he has pursued me and won me back every time. But it will not happen this time. In my gut, I fear he will not take no for an answer. Perhaps I am projecting on to him an experience with another Lucky Bastard many years ago, who also ardently pursued and did not take no for an answer. Then again, maybe I'm not projecting at all--maybe I just have a good gut instinct.
I fear him.
He is not one to be denied. So far, he has pursued me and won me back every time. But it will not happen this time. In my gut, I fear he will not take no for an answer. Perhaps I am projecting on to him an experience with another Lucky Bastard many years ago, who also ardently pursued and did not take no for an answer. Then again, maybe I'm not projecting at all--maybe I just have a good gut instinct.
I fear him.
posted by Tish Grier at 8:43 PM
3 Comments:
Trust your gut, Tish. Do whatever it takes to protect yourself, physically, emotionally and if necessary, legally. Please. I worry about you.
Thanks T...I sent an email out to a bunch of my friends, so that they know the situation. Several know exact details about him, so there really is no hiding. And, if push comes to shove, there are restraining orders. I doubt he would want that sort of noteriety, so he will, more than not, back off. It's the waiting around over the next couple of weeks that's going to be a bit irritating.
I am amazed how some men will get when they are told that the party's over. But there's no such thing as a free lunch. Not even for him.
What bothers me the most is that he thinks that I should just provide him with experiences when he really is nothing to me. He's a peripherial, a fantasy, a guy who's good in bed. He hasn't allowed himself to be anything more, and, therefore, there's no reason for me to do anything more for him.
He keeps pressuring me about my fantasies. I have fantasies when I am emotionally connected to an individual. I can't have fantasies about someone who just breezes in and out when he wants to. Why bother? Acting on a fantasy with a complete stranger is an empty experience.
He doesn't get that. Even in The Scene, where it looks like we're all strangers engaging in strange anonymous encounters, we are usually all known to one another. Wen we personally do not know someone, others at the party just might. And when someone's not right, word gets around pretty quickly.
Strangely, I'm fairly conservative in my personal life. I don't keep a group of "play buddies" and I'm not consumed with bizaare fantasies that need to be acted on regularly. Nope. I'm pretty balanced.
I always say that if I could find one man who is as interested in intimacy as much as me, who is as atheletic as me, and could keep up with me, I'd stay with just one man. I haven't come across that man yet, and I'm not sure he really exists. That could, for me, be the fantasy.
Post a Comment
<< Home