Be A Coffee Achiever!
How many of you remember the old "Be a Coffee Achiever" TV commercial campaign of some 20-odd years ago? Great little TV spots broadcast in the wee hours of the morning, with folks like Kurt Vonegut and Linda Ellerbee holding up cups of coffee, and ELO singing "Hold on Tight to your Dreams" and David Bowie in his Serious Moonlight pale blue suits....
But the whole idea of a "coffee achiever" took on a new meaning for me today, as I stood in the shower and my vision went blurry and I felt like I was going to melt under the hot water like a marshmallow in a cup of hot chocolate.
I was a wind-up doll that someone forgot to wind up for the day. And it was all because I've been trying to de-caffineate myself completely by giving up coffee...
Yes, my key is coffee. Rich, dark, and loaded--with caffeine. I hate to admit it, but it's so very true. I am not addicted to anything else--I can smoke a cigarette and forget I ever did. I can "social drink" quite easily and control when, where and how I get drunk, if I get drunk at all. One glass of wine, with dinner, and be enough thankyouverymuch. I do, though, enjoy my sugar and chocolate, but I've even forsaken those two at various points over the past couple of years with only mild discomfort as a side-effect.
Yet every time I try to give up coffee, I get seriously ill--like all the wind is out of my sails. I'm a frigate stuck somewhere in the straights with a studly captain screaming for the forces of nature to kick in and propel his mighty ship. My vision gets blurry, I get a bit nauseous, and tend to lose some of my equilibrium. It's a scary feeling.
And as soon as I get a cup of coffee, I'm fine. Actually, I end up better than fine. I'm wound and happy and can achieve anything!
Yes! I am a full-blown COFFEE ACHIEVER!
It doesn't take me more than a cup to get going. A well-timed cup though. First thing in the morning can screw me up pretty good--it doesn't react all that well with my lack of metabolism. A little later in the a.m. or early afternoon, after I've had a bit of food, seems to be the best time. And I don't need more than one cup to get me thru the day.
So, like a true addict, I am going to make coffee a ritual. Or, when there's no time for ritual, make it a good treat. Elevate my addiction to a High Art Form. I can become a Connoisseur of Coffee--collect special cups, discover different ways of brewing it beyond the automatic drip, learn the differences between Columbian, Hawaiian, Costa Rican, etc. Stay completely away from inferior, chemically enhanced coffees. Buy only Free Trade. Have special containers for all the different grades and types of coffee I enjoy.
I can revel in my vice!
Nah...too much work. Too much of a commitment. Being commitment-phobic, I know that if I took on the commitment of a Coffee Lifestyle, I would soon begin to dislike the thing I loved the most.
Seriously, though, it's kind of funny to recognize that I actually need coffee and without it I don't function all that well. I'd be curious to find what element in the coffee, beyond the obvious caffeine, could be affecting me. I've felt for a long time that there was something missing from my delicately balanced biochemistry and maybe coffee is providing it.
Maybe though, to find out what that magical chemical compound is would be more trouble than what it would take to be the Ultimate Coffee Connoisseur.
So, for now, I have a compromise. I'm simply going to accept that I need a cup of coffee in my day to function at a normal (or even slightly enhanced) level. I have a self-imposed limit of one cup, and if it gets beyond that, then I might consider it a problem. I will allow myself the pleasure of coffee--savor the rich, beautiful, erotic qualities of a finely brewed, creamy-sweet cup. No Dunkin' Donuts nor Folger's plastic can stuff for me. The Coffee Experience will be as sensual and delightful as I can make it on any particular day without the need to make it the center of my life. I do not need to live The Coffee Lifestyle any more than I need to live any other "lifestyle."
No need to go whole hog, really. Coffee's something that's always there, only a few brewing moments away at any point in any day.
Kind of like good sex.....
But the whole idea of a "coffee achiever" took on a new meaning for me today, as I stood in the shower and my vision went blurry and I felt like I was going to melt under the hot water like a marshmallow in a cup of hot chocolate.
I was a wind-up doll that someone forgot to wind up for the day. And it was all because I've been trying to de-caffineate myself completely by giving up coffee...
Yes, my key is coffee. Rich, dark, and loaded--with caffeine. I hate to admit it, but it's so very true. I am not addicted to anything else--I can smoke a cigarette and forget I ever did. I can "social drink" quite easily and control when, where and how I get drunk, if I get drunk at all. One glass of wine, with dinner, and be enough thankyouverymuch. I do, though, enjoy my sugar and chocolate, but I've even forsaken those two at various points over the past couple of years with only mild discomfort as a side-effect.
Yet every time I try to give up coffee, I get seriously ill--like all the wind is out of my sails. I'm a frigate stuck somewhere in the straights with a studly captain screaming for the forces of nature to kick in and propel his mighty ship. My vision gets blurry, I get a bit nauseous, and tend to lose some of my equilibrium. It's a scary feeling.
And as soon as I get a cup of coffee, I'm fine. Actually, I end up better than fine. I'm wound and happy and can achieve anything!
Yes! I am a full-blown COFFEE ACHIEVER!
It doesn't take me more than a cup to get going. A well-timed cup though. First thing in the morning can screw me up pretty good--it doesn't react all that well with my lack of metabolism. A little later in the a.m. or early afternoon, after I've had a bit of food, seems to be the best time. And I don't need more than one cup to get me thru the day.
So, like a true addict, I am going to make coffee a ritual. Or, when there's no time for ritual, make it a good treat. Elevate my addiction to a High Art Form. I can become a Connoisseur of Coffee--collect special cups, discover different ways of brewing it beyond the automatic drip, learn the differences between Columbian, Hawaiian, Costa Rican, etc. Stay completely away from inferior, chemically enhanced coffees. Buy only Free Trade. Have special containers for all the different grades and types of coffee I enjoy.
I can revel in my vice!
Nah...too much work. Too much of a commitment. Being commitment-phobic, I know that if I took on the commitment of a Coffee Lifestyle, I would soon begin to dislike the thing I loved the most.
Seriously, though, it's kind of funny to recognize that I actually need coffee and without it I don't function all that well. I'd be curious to find what element in the coffee, beyond the obvious caffeine, could be affecting me. I've felt for a long time that there was something missing from my delicately balanced biochemistry and maybe coffee is providing it.
Maybe though, to find out what that magical chemical compound is would be more trouble than what it would take to be the Ultimate Coffee Connoisseur.
So, for now, I have a compromise. I'm simply going to accept that I need a cup of coffee in my day to function at a normal (or even slightly enhanced) level. I have a self-imposed limit of one cup, and if it gets beyond that, then I might consider it a problem. I will allow myself the pleasure of coffee--savor the rich, beautiful, erotic qualities of a finely brewed, creamy-sweet cup. No Dunkin' Donuts nor Folger's plastic can stuff for me. The Coffee Experience will be as sensual and delightful as I can make it on any particular day without the need to make it the center of my life. I do not need to live The Coffee Lifestyle any more than I need to live any other "lifestyle."
No need to go whole hog, really. Coffee's something that's always there, only a few brewing moments away at any point in any day.
Kind of like good sex.....
posted by Tish Grier at 3:27 PM
2 Comments:
Good for you! It's ok to need coffee, just like you need sunlight and fresh air and a good book and a hot bath. Life is too short to spend it denying ourselves the little pleasures that make it worth living.
You know, for a while I really thought I was the only one who remembered that spot. I brought it up to my first creative director about ten years ago, and he had no idea what I was talking about. I couldn't believe it, and I was so disappointed. I always loved it, and as a kid I thought, "I'm going to be a coffee, achiever, damn it!" And guess what? If I can make no other claim about myself, I can at the very least, declare that I am, indeed, a coffee achiever. I forgot that that ELO song was the music for that spot. How brilliant. Love it. Hurray for the Coffee Achievers of America!
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