This morning, I looked at my desk calendar, then my wall calendar, noted the date, and recognized that it isn't too late to give up something for Lent.

In theory, I have at least until Palm Sunday, and the official start of the Countdown to Easter, to give up something for Lent. But, I'm sure that the sacrifice means more if the giving up takes place more than just a few days before the main event.

My horrific mood swings over the past two days (more of which I will write about later) got me to thinking that, perhaps my intuition on Ash Wednesday was spot on....and maybe I should indeed give up Lucky Bastard for a period of time.

Now, given my breach of confidentiality the other day with regards to my feelings may already have compromised or even sundered our interaction, the act of forsaking his company may already be moot.

But knowing him as I do, and knowing that the level of "sensual delights" (as he liked to call them) he experienced with me consisted of acts that would cause most women to blance and faint, I have a strong sense that he will return when his testosterone gets unmanageable.

So, to consciously say that I'm giving him up for Lent....well, that means whether or not he calls at all, I will have given *him* up, and not the other way around.

I breathe a sigh of relief at the thought that I am doing this...much in the way I did when I gave up chocolate and porn. Strangely, he was something of a combination of chocolate and porn--sweet, pretty, addictive, and very perverse.

Which then gives me a close to six week reprieve from the constant drama and disruptive emotional whirilwind that accompanies the High Sex of Lucky Bastard. In that time, I promise myself I will write more, will try to better understand what causes my manic psychic jitterbutg states, and and will see to it that Steady Eddie makes good on his Valentine's Day promise to follow my lead in the bedroom.

It promises to be an interesting six weeks.