Amazing, Fascinating Men

Maybe it's that I've been single for more years of my adulhood than both marriages combined...or maybe it's that, when I'm not feeling down-in-the-dumps, I really enjoy meeting and talking with people....or maybe it's just that I manage to be open to the experience of life...

But I've met some very amazing, absolutely fascinating men.

I've met musicians, writers, and artists--professional ones and amateurs of many stripes. Librarians and professors. Military men and anti-war protesters. Physicists, biologists and computer dudes. Hard-muscled delivery men and fine-looking executives. Men who preach the word of God, and others who worship dark gods.

They've been friends, co-workers, bosses, mentors, acquaintances, husbands, boyfriends, and lovers.

Each and every one who touched my life has shaped and changed me. So many in my memory--all so very different in so many ways.

There is no way that I can say that any one or the other was the worst person in the world. Each has his strengths--and his vulnerabilities. Men are often more vulnerable than they ever allow others to know.

At times, I learned their secrets. And then there were others I knew absolutely nothing about--even after living with them.

I cherish their trust. Some have entrusted me with so many things that they would never share with another soul. Listening to them talk about love, or God, or their fears and dark places is to be put in a position of great priviledge.

I can't name all these men right here. It's not that I don't remember their names. No, I remember them all. But to share their names, right now, in this post, would, in some way, be not right.

I think about these men more now that I'm writing fiction again. As I'm creating little worlds and the people who inhabit those worlds, I am reminded of the men who have passed thru my little world. Who is this character like? Will he look like one and act like another? What will be his occupation, and the way he acts and moves and speaks and feels and makes love--will it be like the man I knew who had that occupation and those mannerisms in real life? Or will he be this amalgam of the best parts of some of them? Will I leave out the bad parts, or just pick the bad parts of the best men?

Other women might look at me and think "oh, poor thing doesn't have children." or "poor thing's been twice divorced and has to live in the middle of a ghetto."

I don't consider myself poor in any way. When I think about it, there's really no way to measure the richness of life, and no true way to guage the wonderful men who have created and contributed to that richness within me.

Looking at it within me is like gazing into a box of treasure...as I write, I am sharing that treasure. Its only value is when it is shared.

And as I concoct all these male characters, I realize that I'm actually sharing, in small ways, bits and pieces of the experiences of the amazing, fascinating, wonderful men of my life.

how lucky can a writing girl get? probably not much luckier....