Ultra Low Rise
I was shopping in Old Navy's many discount sections when I came across two great finds--a nice little black cardigan that was an addition 50 percent off the initial markdown, and a pair of ultra low rise jeans for $16.99. A nominal investment, I thought, for a trendy little try-out.
And, they were in my size, or so I thought.
I took them into the dressing room, along with a pair of nice wide-leg khaki colored linen pants that would go great with my beige and dark pink pinstripe jacket, and figured they would be good for ha-ha's. But I was surpried! I really liked the fit, even though they came just above my pubic bone, which left most of my stomach and part of my rear-end exposed, but, hey, there are young girls in worse shape than me walking around in them. At least I didn't look like the Michelin Lady.
These ultra low-risers were a size 12, which is usually what I take in dress pants. I should have thought twice about the fit though. The last two pair of size 12 jeans I bought--one of Levi's Nouveau Fit and the other a cheapo pair of K-Mart Route 66--both ended up being alot bigger once I got them home. I mean *big* to the point where I can put them on and take them off without unbuttoning them.
Disturbingly big.
So, I was thrilled last night when I changed into one of my little g-strings with jewels on the back and pulled on my excellent fitting ultra low-rise jeans. Only to find that when I walked they seemed to slide off my hips just a bit.
Luckily, I recently bought a very nice black belt with a big rhinestone lotus flower buckle, that was an extra-large--far too big for my average low waist jeans, but it was a reasonable fit for the ultra lows. I would still need to have Steady Eddie punch a couple more holes in the belt to get a tighter fit, but the belt would do for the evening.
Good thing, too, that I was wearing a rather long-tailed shirt and could tuck it in! Otherwise alot of people would have seen my butt. Not that my butt's all that bad. It's rather extraordiary for a 44 year old butt. Flashing people during dinner is, however, a bit tasteless.
Rather than getting tighter thru dinner, though, my pants seemed to get looser. And looser. Luckily we didn't have to walk too far to the car or I might have been wearing them down around my ankles.
You see, just like my other jeans, these wonderful fitting size 12's are, in fact, too large! Once home, I took the belt off and said "watch this!" and was, once again, able to pull my jeans completely off without having to unbutton them first!
Strange thing is the khaki linens are a size 14. The 12's were waaaay too tight in the thigh and made me look like I had strangely proportioned elephantine thighs.
Maybe that's the way pants are supposed to fit these days. In general, I've never had all that much luck with pants in my life, given I'm short-waisted with long legs. I look great in skirts, esp. above the knee skirts because I have very sculpted calves....but pants have always been, and obviously continue to be, the baine of my existance.
I am so flummoxed by sizes and cuts of pants that I'm getting to the point where all I want to wear are those nice wide leg "athletic" pants. I look kind of cute in those, like Sporty Spice.
So, now that my belt has a few more holes in it, I'm going to try the ultra low-risers again today. I'm going to get the knack of those damned pants, no matter what! Besides, I have too many g-strings in my drawer that are just begging to get noticed.
Can't disappoint the g-strings now, can I??
And, they were in my size, or so I thought.
I took them into the dressing room, along with a pair of nice wide-leg khaki colored linen pants that would go great with my beige and dark pink pinstripe jacket, and figured they would be good for ha-ha's. But I was surpried! I really liked the fit, even though they came just above my pubic bone, which left most of my stomach and part of my rear-end exposed, but, hey, there are young girls in worse shape than me walking around in them. At least I didn't look like the Michelin Lady.
These ultra low-risers were a size 12, which is usually what I take in dress pants. I should have thought twice about the fit though. The last two pair of size 12 jeans I bought--one of Levi's Nouveau Fit and the other a cheapo pair of K-Mart Route 66--both ended up being alot bigger once I got them home. I mean *big* to the point where I can put them on and take them off without unbuttoning them.
Disturbingly big.
So, I was thrilled last night when I changed into one of my little g-strings with jewels on the back and pulled on my excellent fitting ultra low-rise jeans. Only to find that when I walked they seemed to slide off my hips just a bit.
Luckily, I recently bought a very nice black belt with a big rhinestone lotus flower buckle, that was an extra-large--far too big for my average low waist jeans, but it was a reasonable fit for the ultra lows. I would still need to have Steady Eddie punch a couple more holes in the belt to get a tighter fit, but the belt would do for the evening.
Good thing, too, that I was wearing a rather long-tailed shirt and could tuck it in! Otherwise alot of people would have seen my butt. Not that my butt's all that bad. It's rather extraordiary for a 44 year old butt. Flashing people during dinner is, however, a bit tasteless.
Rather than getting tighter thru dinner, though, my pants seemed to get looser. And looser. Luckily we didn't have to walk too far to the car or I might have been wearing them down around my ankles.
You see, just like my other jeans, these wonderful fitting size 12's are, in fact, too large! Once home, I took the belt off and said "watch this!" and was, once again, able to pull my jeans completely off without having to unbutton them first!
Strange thing is the khaki linens are a size 14. The 12's were waaaay too tight in the thigh and made me look like I had strangely proportioned elephantine thighs.
Maybe that's the way pants are supposed to fit these days. In general, I've never had all that much luck with pants in my life, given I'm short-waisted with long legs. I look great in skirts, esp. above the knee skirts because I have very sculpted calves....but pants have always been, and obviously continue to be, the baine of my existance.
I am so flummoxed by sizes and cuts of pants that I'm getting to the point where all I want to wear are those nice wide leg "athletic" pants. I look kind of cute in those, like Sporty Spice.
So, now that my belt has a few more holes in it, I'm going to try the ultra low-risers again today. I'm going to get the knack of those damned pants, no matter what! Besides, I have too many g-strings in my drawer that are just begging to get noticed.
Can't disappoint the g-strings now, can I??





2 Comments:
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I feel your pain. ;-) After my weight loss (and partial regain - ugh) adventure, I've come to the conclusion that clothes are sized for aliens. Or maybe they've just taken anorexic models as their base and that's why women's jeans don't seem to follow female curves? :-) Honestly, I've had this problem from size 14 all the way down to size 6 -- if the jeans fit the thigh/ass then they pouch out at the waist cuz apparently I'm not supposed to have one that curves in from my hips. And you'd think that wouldn't be a problem with ultra low rise that don't have a waist!
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