The Seventh Sense

Women, by nature, have six senses that we acknowledge. There are the standard five--sight, hearing, taste, touch and smell. The sixth, intuition, develops as a result of having to bear and take care of children.

how else would we be able to figure out what a baby needs and what a man's doing behind our backs?? (men, on the other hand, have that compartmentalizing thing that women don't...but it's not a sense quite the same way as intuition...)

But sometime in adolescence, women develop a seventh sense--that sense of knowing when a guy is hitting on us.

Unlike intuition, this seventh sense, if not engaged properly, can atrophy. Like smell or taste, we lose it, and it's rather hard to tell exactly *how* this occurs, but I have an idea.

To a greater or lesser degree, this sense has begun to atrophy in me, and I am darned puzzled by it. It's so diminished now that I can't tell if a guy's hitting on me unless he's being bleeding obvious about it and staring directly at my boobs. Or directly stating his intentions in no uncertain terms.

Part of my atrophiciation, I think, comes from not wanting to offend guys who are otherwise taken. It's often hard to tell a man's status after 30--unlike women, they don't always wear rings, nor are they upfront about their status if they are otherwise attached. So, I don't necessarily want to smile a certain smile at someone I should not be smiling at in the first place. Therefore I tamp It down, even when I sense there's a certain je ne sais quois between myself and a man.

I'd rather err on the side of caution than find myself unwittingly on the end of an uncomfortable situation. No woman wants to offend a man by assuming he's available when he isn't.

Then there's the age thing. Unlike other women, a guy 15 or 20 years my junior is not someone who could be my son, nor could he be a good match for my daughter. Not having children kind of gives me a different perspective on younger men--to me, they'er just men with a lot less mileage, and some are far more charming, too.

But I don't know how *they* might feel about finding themselves attracted to an older woman.

So, if I'm sensing a mutual attraction, I back off--I'd rather keep the friend than offend with an untoward acknowledgement of something the other party might not want to acknowlege.

Ah, it was so much easier when I was younger--when most of the guys my age were single and every chronological age bracket would be flattered by my attention.

Nowadays I spend a lot of time being befuddled by the whole attraction thing. I really don't want to offend a guy who might not be interested by acknowledging the proverbial Elephant in the middle of the room. I worry that, if I make the move, he'll turn around and say "how could you! I'm married!" or say "oh, I'm sorry, you're too old for me."

Either way would be far too embarrassing for me to deal with.

So, I pretty much try to ignore that hum between my legs, or the sweaty palms, or that twinkle in the eye, or exhilaration of heart and gonads....

because I simply don't want to be awkward nor offensive...

I'd hoped all this would get easier with age. Actually, it's got more complicated. and my sense of it is certainly not what it used to be.

too bad it's not something that can be corrected, like bad vision...

some things about the human condition aren't all that easy.