Baggage

Shirinks always say that before we can get into a new relationship, we have to deal with the emotional baggage of the old relationship...

and how many of us have heard someone say "I don't want someone who has a lot of baggage." (to which I always say "get real. we all have baggage...")

The odd thing with me right now is that I feel like I've dealt with the emotional baggage--it's the other baggage, the tangible baggage--that I'm still stuck with.

We got to talking about the whole baggage thing today. Men don't necessarily have all that physical baggage--all those things--that women seem to get burdened with. Someone's always buying us a trinket or this or that little thing.

As I mentioned in the post yesterday, boyfriend's mothers end up giving us things that are supposed to be for our future with that boyfriend. And when there's no future, we still have the stuff....

It seems almost that women are encouraged to have sentimental attachments to things--that things are supposed to be invested with memories and emotions. When it comes down to it, though, isn't this kind of weird? Shouldn't we be saving that sentiment for people, not the things that remind us of people? How many of us have so much sentiment invested in things that we hold on to those things long after we should have let them go.

I explained to Steady Eddie that all those gifts we receive can sometimes also be means of other people encouraging us, or projecting on to us, who they believe us to be. There are times when gifts are not for us, but for the person others would like us to be for their emotional benefit. I had an aunt who used to buy me childlike toys well into my teen-age years....and another who put aside place settings of silver and china for me, even though I never picked out a pattern.

What of all those inappropriate gifts given out of a kind of love that's not unconditional?

In all of this, I keep coming back to the dilemma of disposal of all this stuff that has no more meaning nor relavance to our lives? True, there's a time after the end of a relationship that we hold on to posessions from that relationship--whether it's memories or holding out hope of reconciliation, I think varies from individual to individual.

Still, when all the emotional baggage is dealt with, and all that's left is the physical baggage, getting rid of the physical baggage can be a real hassle (to say the least.)

I'll be so glad when I can finally get rid of the physical baggage left in my life. The emotional baggage has been gone for some time....enough.