Losing Time

My apartment still isn't totally unpacked. I look at the piles of boxes and I think: I've got too much stuff.

So many things. Too many things. Too many gifts, memories, leftover toys (I think I keep the toys as reminders of a life that was much less complicated--when I could simply ignore dysfunction by keeping quiet and retreating into my own little world...)

Oddly, there's not an excess of clothes. I don't have nearly the wardrobe I did when I went clubbing often--which required totally different wardrobes in order to maintain a particular clubbing personna along with a day job that required the semblance of normalcy...

But it's not the simple fact that I have a lot of stuff coloring my unpacked state. There have been a number of time-consuming off-line commitments that have absorbed me over the past 3 weeks--stuff that's kept me from pro blogging and other contributor tasks as well as organizing my living space. There's been a case of tonsillitis and the film festival absorbed me in a way it didn't seem to absorb me last year.

Then, when there is down-time, I'm very much down. I'm not sure if it's simply that I'm exhausted--mentally or physically--but when I'm not in the hairy-scary zone of major pressure and freak-outness, it's like I flip a switch and totally shut off. I used to say "I work great under pressure!" and while that might be the case, when the pressure's not there, it's tough to switch gears to non-pressurized normal function mode.

Or there are major tasks that require massive amounts of attention as if the tasks in and of themselves were full-time jobs. For instance, yesterday I spent well over 6-plus hours on the phone to India with tech support for my desktop computer. The problem, which was solved within 45 minutes, could not be solved sooner because the tech support individuals I was speaking with (a total of 10 over two days) simply would not forward me to a senior tech with remote access as I had requested. There is nothing worse than having to perfom a series of ineffective hacks because a tech will not believe that me, the customer, knows what type of support I need. I broke down in tears at one point--I told the tech I was on the phone with that I knew the type of support I needed and could not understand why I was being denied the support I needed. I had paid for a warranty, and could not believe the shabby treatment I was receiving.

Needless to say, this makes me think much, much less of my computer's customer support offerings (which I used to think were great) and of tech support individuals, who seem to be growing in their condescension and disdain for "users." Like so many in the tech world, they just can't get with the fact that some users are high level, who could possibly do their jobs, and when we have requests, those requests are not frivolous. When I request a senior tech, it's because I know what the problem is, but don't know the cause. I usually need a senior tech to coach me while I fix the problem, or help me back out of a procedure if something goes horribly wrong.

For instance: I don't need a low-level tech support person yelling at me about how I must back up all my documents right now and perform a full system restore when I know the problem can be fixed by exploring the registry, fixing the keys, identifying what pieces of software might be malicious vs. what belongs on it, and deleting the bad stuff.

It's not rocket science, and doesn't require destroying everything that's there to fix the problem. It simply requires talking with someone of a high level of product knowledge and a bit of finesse.

So, as I went crazy looking for my UBS drive, and some blank CDs, and my system disks, and the software for my wifi adapter, and tore my hair out trying to back everything up in record time in order to fix a problem that didn't require destroying/restoring my system, I once again lost valuable work time *and* ended up inadvertently unpacking some boxes (via tearing them open and throwing stuff on the floor because I could not remember exactly which box contained what I needed....)

And today I'm exhausted--sitting here thinking about when I'll have the requisite energy to finish unpacking....thinking about the mess on the floor in my office and the space I *don't* have to store the mess.

I can't sit for long though....there are film festival tasks that require I run out to complete....

and once again, I am losing necessary time required for writing and unpacking....

When everything's a priority, very little gets done, and everyone gets disappointed. And I'm left with a mess...