Maybe it was never me....

I spent years beating the crap out of myself, trying to figure out what was *wrong* with me...when, the thing is, there never was anything wrong with me...

Last week, while I was tracking down information on borderline personality disorder, I came across Surviving a Borderline Parent by Kimberlee Roth and Freda B. Friedman. Once I started reading, everything began to make sense...

Now, the book is not perfect, but, honestly, there's much in that book that helped explain much of what I went through, what's gone wrong, and how things can change...

I'd really like to write more, but I've discovered that it is not safe for me to be writing anything personal in such an open forum any longer. From a business perspective, I'm far too vulnerable....

I am considering shuttering this blog again. It's not enough that my readership is low and that I'm out of search. Business concerns make it important that I hide this part of myself even more. So, In a month, I will shutter things again. if you have been reading, and would like to continue reading, please email me and let me know so that I can add your email addy to the list of people who will be allowed to read what I write

I feel bad about this. I enjoy writing and I know that my best writing happens at this level of self-discovery writing. But I can't risk it any more.

At the end of May, everything here will be behind a wall. If you're been reading, you can send me an email and I will add you as someone who has permission to read

Maybe I'm being paranoid--maybe not. But I know I'd feel safer with a better boundary. The vulnerability isn't good for me anymore.

So, you've got a month :-)